Just Roll.......

By : Joanna T.

Most of the time it doesn’t bother me because most of the time I don’t

think about it. To be honest, I go out of my way to push it out of my brain. But

every once in a while I get too tired, too worn out and too weak and the thought

that I try to push away starts to creep to the front of my mind. I am the only

female training Brazilian jiu-jitsu in a room full of men. I am about forty plus

pounds lighter than everyone else in the room. I will never be as big or strong as

anyone else. This is always going to be more difficult for me than it is for any of

them and it isn’t fair! These are the thoughts that flood my mind in a discouraging

wave during my moments of mental weakness. These are the moments that leave

me breathing a little extra hard, re-tying my belt a little slower than usual, and

pushing hair that was yanked from my ponytail out of my face, frustrated.

But then, the moment passes. I breathe in, breathe out and close my eyes

for a second. I remind myself that I love this sport. I have as much right to this

sport as anyone else. Jiu-jitsu is mine just as it belongs to anyone who steps on

the mat to train. I remind myself not to compare my journey with the journey of

those around me. After the negative thoughts have retreated, defeated for now,

only two words take their place. “Just roll.” I won’t let a passing moment of

frustration stop me from doing what I love. So I tell my brain to shut up and just roll.

Winning these mental battles, no matter how small, is incredibly rewarding

and just another reason why I love jiu-jitsu so much. Jiu-jitsu is helping me

become a better, stronger person and I’m grateful for every second I spend on

the mat.

#joannat